There’s beauty in the breakdown (supposedly)

We’ll see if this winds up being true. I came to a realization today that is ideally wonderful, but equally screws up many things in my life. There is someone in my life who is incredibly important to me, and it turns out that I’ve managed some how to make that complicated and screw it up totally. If there is an award for ruining relationships, I should win it.
I’ve been laughing uncontrollably about this. You might even say it’s been hysterical. It’s ridiculous to take life too seriously. You have to laugh. I’ve been thrown a curve ball in every sense of the word. There’s just no choice but to laugh over it. Or maybe I’ve been trying to hit a curve ball when I’ve been being thrown fast balls. Or maybe I’ve just been beaned in the back of the head by the catcher after using too many baseball metaphors.
Well, I’ve been told to let go because there’s beauty in the breakdown. At the moment, it’s difficult to see anything but misery, let alone beauty. Hopefully, I can look back and see the beauty in my 20/20 hindsight as opposed to my 10/20 foresight which seems to see only disaster and catastrophe.

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