Massachusetts friends

For those of you who don’t know, I was born and grew up in Massachusetts.  No matter how long I live in Utah, I will always be from Massachusetts.   I don’t hate Utah;  It’s just not Southern New England, and the people I’ve met here are really nothing like the ones I grew up with.  One of my friends from home posted this a long time ago on Myspace, and I wanted to repost it here with a few comments on what these kinds of relationships are like.  Friendships in Massachusetts are more like family relationships than anything else.  And we all seem cut from the same cloth.

How Massachusetts friends are different than anyone else…

FRIENDS: Tell you not to do something stupid when drunk

Massachusetts FRIENDS: Will post 360 degree security so you dont get caught

FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs

Massachusetts FRIENDS: Call your parents drunk as hell and tell them about the nasty bitch you tried to pick up

FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home.

Massachusetts FRIENDS: Know some wild shit will happen, and set up rally points and an E & E route.

FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

Massachusetts FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, Damn…that shit was fun ”

FRIENDS: Cry with you.

Massachusetts FRIENDS: laugh at you


FRIENDS: Are happy that someone picked up a one night stand and leave them alone.

Massachusetts FRIENDS: Will Crawl naked into the room with a camera and hope for the tag team.

FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

Massachusetts FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that’s what the crowd is doing.

Massachusetts FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.

Massachusetts FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, “honey I’m home!”

FRIENDS: Will try and talk to the bouncer when you get tossed out of the bar.

Massachusetts FRIENDS: Will buck up and go after the bouncer for touching you on the way out.

FRIENDS: Will wish you had enough money to go out that night, and are sorry you couldn’t come.

Massachusetts FRIENDS: Will share their last dollar with you, drag you along, and try to steal free drinks all night.
FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.

Massachusetts FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, “Bitch, you better drink the rest of that shit, you know we don’t waste. That’s alcohol abuse!!!”

FRIENDS: Want the money they loaned you back next week.

Massachusetts Friends: Can’t begin to remember who owes who money after taking care of each other for so long.

FRIENDS: Will say “I can’t handle Tequila anymore”.

Massachusetts FRIENDS: Will say “okay, just one more…” and then 2 minutes later “okay, just one more!”.

FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.

Massachusetts FRIENDS: Will knock them the Fuck out!!

FRIENDS: Will tell you “They’d take a bullet for you.”

Massachusetts FRIENDS: Will actually take a bullet for you.

Some of this list is just a little juvenile.  Bear in mind, please, that I am reposting it, rather than creating it.   I get just a little nostalgic reading through this list though.  The best description of feelings between friends from Massachusetts is summed up in “Good Will Hunting” when Robin Williams tells Matt Damon that Chuckie isn’t a soul mate.  Chuckie’s family, and he would lie down in traffic for him.  I don’t know if everyone has feelings as tender for their friends from high school as I do, but I do know that this is the most perfect description of my friends from Massachusetts as anyone has ever written.  I can relate to almost all of those statements: we’ve run from the cops, we’ve hidden from the cops, we’ve picked fights in bars, we’ve talked the jerks down who have talked smack about our friends, and punched the ones too drunk to see reason, we’ve sneaked out, and we’ve all taken care of each other for so long that it’s impossible to remember NOT being friends.  If you haven’t already, make some friends from Massachusetts. 

2 responses to “Massachusetts friends

  1. Pingback: Robin Williams » Massachusetts friends

  2. Funny… last time I saw this list, it was translated into a foreign language, with Ukraine substituted for every instance of Massachusetts.

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